March 2008

Tonight’s Inside Sport (BBC One 11.30pm) has an in-depth interview with Castrol Performance Index ambassador Arsène Wenger. Tune in to see him extol the virtues of the stats, and how he uses similar facts to help him in his tactical decisions.

For those of you not in the UK, the programme is repeated throughout the day on Friday on BBC World, and will be available via the BBC iPlayer site from tomorrow.

So Michele Platini has once more voiced his opinion (making him look disturbingly like a UEFA President who actually gives a rat’s ass about the state of the game and not just who is paying for his next posh lunch). The former French midfield maestro has this time vowed to stop the practice of big English clubs poaching talented youngsters from the lower echelons as soon as they come on the scouting radar. This will put paid to the likes of Arsenal and Manchester United hoovering up 16 year olds from across the globe, putting them in the academy, then spitting them out a few years later when the wage bill gets too high.

Platini rightly holds the view that by harvesting talent in such a way, big clubs are effectively ruining national teams. Youngsters get whisked away to foreign climes and if they’re lucky enough to play first team football will be denying a place to a native, home-grown talent. This in turn, Platini believes, damages national sides as indigenous teenagers find their passage through to senior football blocked by foreign imports. Through recent personal experience, I have heard of young players who have ‘lost their love of the game’ after a few years of frustration trying to break into higher league football, only to find their places taken by players from abroad.

Such a strangulation of young talent is, according to Platini, harmful to national teams, and he is working with various parties to bring a halt to the thwarting of youthful ambition. Judging by the comment stream on Goal.com, this is a topic that has caused a split in the football fraternity. Every possible view is expressed, and it makes for some interesting reading. Whatever your standpoint, why not have a read and even jump into the discussion?

We’ve held off talking about the official Euro 2008 song as long as possible on these pages, but the vitriol couldn’t be held back any longer. This is a truly, hatefully woeful effort at ‘getting down with the kids’, marred even further by a completely feeble and derisory video, showing Flix and Trix doing what they do best and getting ‘right on your tits’.

Combining the very worst of Euro pop with the unintelligible lyrics of Mr. Shaggy, ‘Like A Superstar’ looks more like an Eastern European attempt at a Coco Pops advert. That a man who has penned timeless classics such as ‘Mr. Boombastic’ should put his name to a tawdry steaming pile of garbage like this must be testament to the equivalent mound of Euros he got paid to record it.

There isn’t an easy place to start, so let’s go with the lyrics. Those that could be understood sounded like words from a Eurovision reject song, you know, the one that doesn’t even make it to the final stages of Song For Europe by some washed up soap star. All about reaching for the top and being a superstar. Trite (also rhyming slang in this case), predictable and just plain stupid.

The video stars two of the weakest mascots ever seen in the history of the tournament, and there have been some fairly strong candidates for the worst icon of all time. They gambol through their Alpine surroundings wearing inane grins and performing unlikely….well flicks and tricks.

There are not words enough to describe just how bad this piece of offensive rubbish is. This video should come with some sort of health warning, and clicking on the link may make your eyes bleed. You have been warned.

So, although the midweek friendlies threw up some serious shocks (who would have ever predicted Greece beating Portugal), there was no such luck for hosts Switzerland, who took a 4 goal pasting at the hands of Germany. Klose, Podolski and Gomez (2) struck home the goals, but was the match as one-sided as it sounds?  

Well, it is noticeable that unlike Die Nationalelf’s last game (where the fans were treated to a tedious first half before Germany went on to put 3 past Austria), it was but 23 minutes before the visitors had gone ahead. With Gomez’s rasping effort well-parried by the Switzerland stopper, Diego Benaglio (further enhancing his burgeoning reputation), but the 24-year-old could do little to prevent Klose from ending his goal drought as he spanked the ball home.

However, Switzerland rallied and seemed to be brought to life after the first - and for half an hour had the lion’s share of the ball, with 70 per cent of the possession. But Germany weathered the storm, with Michael Ballack proving that any tags of ‘laziness’ that have been levied on him from the English press were unfounded, as he covered the most ground on the pitch with 11,818 meters under his belt. 

And with Switzerland grafting hard, but failing to convert any of their 10 shots on goal – things are looking bleak for the nation’s chances in Euro 2008. This was only compounded when Germany smashed home a trio of goals in the last 30 minutes. A crushing defeat for Switzerland, and a result sure to see a number of German internationals rising in the CPI rankings, most notably Mario Gomez, and Jens Lehman.

Yes indeed - so statistic fans can get a taster of just what you can expect from our favourite site, pop on down to the Castrol Performance Index, click on ‘Match Tracker’ from around 19:30, and enjoy a statistical feast the likes of which you will have never indulged in before! Ball possession, metres covered, pitch heat maps and so much more, for the following matches:

So classy goals make for more points on the Castrol Performance Index, but would you rather see your side tap one in from a goalkeeping blunder, or score an elegantly crafted beauty in which every member of the team takes a touch and is finished from 25 yards with a spectacular overhead kick?

We all know the answer would be the latter, but in an international tournament, does it really matter how the goals go in? Yes, David Platt’s goal against Belgium in Italia 90 was pretty (and would have scored him some good points on the CPI due to the improbable nature of the over-the-shoulder style of the shot), but at the end of the day it counted the same as Tomas Danilevicius’ effort for Lithuania against the Faroe Islands in the qualifiers for this year’s Euros. Both were match winners, and for someone reading the result in the paper the next day, both were a simple statistic.

Does your team feel better, though, when an extravagant goal is scored, or is the adrenaline rush the same when the ball creeps across the line from 3 yards? Maybe these guys will know, and if you’re in Austria for the tournament, it might be worth dropping in. Whatever emotions are experienced, whatever the goal looks like, the CPI scores it and ranks it. So Toni’s crack against Scotland garners him more points than Podolski’s efforts against Slovakia. Weaker opposition, easier scoring position, and a goal keeping error all contributed to keeping his points low.

It’s clear from many years’ experience of watching football both from the stands and on the goggle box that an amazing goal elicits more pandemonium than a weak effort that crawls in, and the CPI seems to agree. Whatever points are scored at the Euros, however the players and fans feel when the goals go in, it’s those goals that will count, and let’s hope there’s plenty of ‘em.

With another round of potentially ligament damaging friendlies this week, a number of which were recently expertly previewed on this very site, no doubt infuriating club managers across the globe – it is with little surprise that we have noted a number of high profile absentees from first XIs around Europe. Robert Huth is one who has cried off his German international duty with an injury, as has Frenchman Thierry Henry – but there are no withdrawals quite so high profile as Portuguese wingers Christiano Ronaldo and Nani, both of whom have been given permission to sit out by the Selecção das Quinas team doctor.

So as well as opening up a whole barrel-load of questions about just how important these friendlies really are in getting ones ‘predictor hat’ on for Euro 2008, one wonders if any big league managers are keeping a steady hand on their better players as the season draws to a close. Nick may rate them meaningless friendlies, but I think he’s wrong - and one feels sure that the majority of the players who come in for these stars will be giving their utmost as replacements (after all, squad places will still be up for grab in many managers’ notebooks). As such, the Portugal vs. Greece match especially could be a very interesting look at how the top sides might perform if high-profile injuries occur during the tournament.

As for who will replace the dynamic pair, my money is on a bit of system shape shifting from Big Phil Scolari – but we must wait until Wednesday, when the stats on CPI will bear out the true story of the international tale.