So Chief Referee (or whatever he calls himself) Keith Hackett has announced that diving has almost been eradicated from the game, all on the back of his clever poster campaign (he is of course, assuming the players can read said posters, which could have been his first mistake).

Now then Mr. Hackett, I think it’s time you opened your flipping eyes and watched a few games now and then. I would argue that diving has become more prolific, coupled with an increase in the deplorable habit of players waving the imaginary yellow when they hit the turf. One only has to see in recent weeks the amount of time Mssrs. Drogba, Ronaldo, Gerrard and Cole (both A. and J.) have spent rolling round on the green stuff like someone has just removed a bone from their leg without their permission for proof. Even Drogba’s team mates have taken to ignoring him when his histrionics begin (yesterday’s match with Newcastle was a perfect case in point, with DD eventually hobbling sheepishly back to his own half after play had continued for about 90 seconds after he went down). And Nani’s efforts to conceal his guilt after ‘headbutting’ Lucas Neill were laughable. That said, the 6 foot-tall hard as nails Australian went down quicker than a $5 hooker.

So with the Euros approaching, how is this disease going to be eradicated? And let’s face it, this disease is more prevalent in the continental leagues with players falling over if they sense an opponent within…well, sometimes it seems like if there is anyone on the same pitch they go down cluthcing an ankle. Like every disease it needs a cure, and some cures are drastic. And the cure for this has to be a rash of red cards. Seriously. Dive and you’re off. Let’s see how many times they go down now.

The judges gave DD a 5.8